[Dying...sliping away]



I hope i dun break down. Yesterday....i was walking. I felt like i couldn't breathe properly. I felt a little giddy. My mind was so full...it was filled with a lOt of tots...but...i didn''t noe what were they. I need help. Who do i turn to? Who do i call? What do i say? I was bEcoming crazy. I'm scared.

N...until today.......i still feel like that. Pls.....pls...gIve me a break.

Why can't this whole thing be perfect? Nice? Filled with excitment n all. Filled with lots of love and appreciativness (if there's such a word) ?? Why.

No one cares...really. I tot that no one will care if i died. You, robin, fen, shiqin. No one...no one will noe. Only God and XmX. Onli..........

I always consoled myself that if i got everything perfect....i wouldn't be able to fully cherish the bessings in my life. But...what have i got now? All sadness.

I remembered that i prayed about that. Is that really happening?

I dunno...i really dunno.

I want to noe wat's really in her mind. Does she care about me? For the millionth time.

I just hope that things will change. I just hope that she shows me a little more concern. Everyone. If u r true...show me concern. If not...scram........

[Oversee the bbq food]
[Plan some stuff after bbq]

*I just want to get through today*
*I just hope that i will hear gd news*